INSPIRATION HITS!

BURKE KENNY: the title holder of world champion in the full beard, styled mustache division in the World Beard and Moustache Championships 2007.

May our champions one day reach such staggering heights and lengths.

Amen.

Photo (obviously) from http://www.beards.org/.

I mean, it's right there. Ya can't miss it.

The Schmid Boys

Waking up with a beard in strange places.

"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man."


I ponder this statement as I ponder many quotes during the day. How many volumes does my beard speak? Will my beard bring about peace in some strange part of the universe that has yet to be discovered? Can I save someone with my beard from falling fragments of a discarded/exploded satellite?

As I think on these things, I scratch my beard. My thoughts wander away from me. Literally. The scratching sends me into a trance of sorts where my mind contemplates everything and nothing. It is blank and full at the same time. I can feel nothing but the satisfying scratching and hear nothing but the "skrittch skrittch" of my fingernails against my bearded cheek.

I pause for a moment. I find that I've closed my eyes and am laying down on my couch where I was, only moments ago, driving my car to the Wawa several blocks away. Suddenly, the Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime starts streaming in my head. "How did I get here? How do I work this?" The sample repeats over and over again filling my head with an awful din so loud I have to cover my ears as if the music is coming in and not from within my own subconscious. I shut my eyes again, tighter than before, trying to squeeze out the song. The lyrics. The SAME lyrics are repeating OVER and OVER... FASTER and FASTER. Standing now, I grit my teeth and suddenly...

Darkness.

I open my eyes to darkness. I can hear my heart pounding.





That's when I wake up. It's 2:48am according to my cellphone. I look around. I'm sitting in my car outside my house. I quickly turn on the car and my CD player comes on screaming "Bulls on pah-raaaaaaaaaaid!"

I've been having the weirdest dreams about beards lately...

images from Marc Johns
he owns them.

(Bearded) President's Day Weekend

There once was a time, some call it "the 1800s" when a man could be elected to the highest office with a full-on beard. One could say that President John Adams started the facial hair trend as the 6th President of the United States with distinct and well-groomed chops. But he was eclipsed by Martin Van Buren's (Prez #8) crazy and completely out-of-control "beard-like" sideburns that seemed to be the length of the hair on his head... well, the side of his head. You could argue that he had 2 beards! Quite the feat.

But President number 16, Honest Abe Lincoln, truly starts a trend that would last from 1861 - 1893. Ulysses Grant (#18) would pick up the slack where silly and horribly unfortunate President Andrew Johnson dropped it from 1865-1869. Following Grant was Rutherford Hayes (#19). Probably noted as the Presidents' President of Beards in some circles. James Garfield (#20) showed up next with a SERIOUS contender, but, alas, was not as crazy looking as our boy Hayes.

Oh, Chester Arthur... what were you thinking? Coming off of Garfield's amazingly popular beard you have... skinny chops and a mustache that NEARLY connects? I got news (albeit 127 years too late) for you... fat face and those whiskers don't mix. Grover Cleveland had a 'stache too, but it was brilliantly interrupted by Benjamin Harrison (#23) and his neatly trimmed Grandpa beard.

Since Benjamin Harrison, no President of the United States has worn a beard. I say, it's high time we get a bearded man back in office! This country needs a true leader! And true leaders wear the beard!!!

SO! On this President's Day, may you lift a glass to the Bearded Commanders in Chief... remembering their legacy and their beard-growing abilities.

President John Quincy Adams


President Martin Van Buren


President Abraham Lincoln


President Ulysses Grant


President Rutherford Hayes


President James Garfield


President Benjamin Harrison


All pictures are from http://www.visitingdc.com

Sexy Week 6: Party on my face. You're invited.

Forty-two days into the ultimate beard face challenge and both grizzly men are looking... well, grizzly.

Possibly sub-human.

BUT THAT'S A MOO POINT!* HERE! In week six are our heroes. Battling fatigue, in-grown hairs, sexless nights and clogged shower drains they soldier on their way to victory! There are many pictures for this week, I am VERY happy to announce. Finally, we are seeing the painful changes in our heroes as the beard hair slowly takes over their minds. Marvel at the rage! Gasp at the growth! Stare in HORROR as Marc slowly turns cannibal on an unsuspecting young lady's butt!

I CAN'T LOOK!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!!


Beware... Marc will kill you if the mood strikes him.


Thanks to Laira for the pics! w00t!



*This is from 1 of 5 funny moments found in the "Friends" television series.

Halloween Plans: Part 3

As the weeks tick by, we here at BF9K like to ponder just how amazing Marc's beard might get by the end of October 2008. To that point, brother Eric has suggested that "The Mad Monk Rasputin!" be entered into the "Possible Halloween Costumes Hat".

The costume, of course, would be legendary.

As would the party that he attends...



And because of that, it has been decided that BF9K will now begin accepting invitations to your Halloween Party. Now, don't be deceived. He will not be ACCEPTING to GO to your party just yet. All we're asking for is OPTIONS. Who will be there? Will there be hotties? Is there a theme that revolves around Marc? These are important questions that need answers before BF9K announces THE party that he (and his beard) will attend on October 31, 2008.


PS: Halloween is on a Friday this year. w00t!

Where is the power?

All the power is with the sex that wears the beard.

-Moliere-

More More Week Four (pictures)

Looking to save some shred of dignity in this bearded wonder contest, Marc "The Amazing" Schmid enters a Pie Eating Contest! Did he win? Alas, he did not. He placed "Smart" in the contest... right behind second and first (of the three entrants).

I know you know... but click the tiny image for biggness.

CALL TO ACTION!

Attention my dear beardface followers!
There are many of you out there that may have many opportunities throughout the weeks to capture the beasts of Rob and Marc on your cellular mobile camera interweb emailing devices that also capture telephone calls. If you do, i prithee, send them to beardface9000@gmail.com. Upon receiving any captured moments of Marc or Rob Beardface, I shall review and henceforth post any qualifying photographic images that are optimized for web and mobile device type viewing.

So... our journey together continues. Our heros in the thralls of week four battle desperately for their sanity... and sanitary upkeepings of their bearded chops.

Stay tuned for your weekly graphical updates! They are forthcoming and not suitable for children from 1 to 92.

Halloween Plans: Part 2

a new idea from marc for his bearded halloween costume for 2008 was "the dude". again, i thought, brilliant! but, again, on second-thought... the dude only has a goatee. so that's out.

so who HAS a beard? a FULL beard. i have 2 new suggestions that i think will work VERY nicely.

Mel Gibson OR Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard!

The Growing Stage

ah week two... what have you brought us?

moving into dirty/lazy territory without fear, Marc marches confidently into his third week. with 2 weeks down in this 104 week beard-a-thon, one wonders how "the other guy" looks at this early stage. i will work on getting a competitive update on the unfortunate soul that decided to take on the unwavering will power of a schmid in a ridiculous contest/bet.

for your enjoyment, i've included a silly picture of marc with a fuller beard, albeit no mustache...

Click on the pic for a larger and fun-filled view.